Top Ten Most Messed-Up Christmas Specials We Loved As Kids

0
988

10. “The Leprechauns’ Christmas Gold” (1981)

What We Loved About It As Kids: Um, not certain anyone liked this one as a child. Fun fact: Art Carney is concerned with this craptastic special AND “The Star Wars Holiday Special.”

most messed-up Christmas specials

Why It’s Totally Messed Up: The antihero is a banshee named (wait for it) Old Mag the Hag. Sure, it was the ’80s, however does any female role, even a banshee, require to have “old hag” as part of her real name?

9. “The Life & Adventures of Santa Claus” (1985)

What We Loved About It As Kids: “Elves! Fairies! Wizards! SANTA!”

most messed-up Christmas specials

Why It’s Totally Messed Up: If you had forever dreamed about a stop-motion version of “Lord of the Rings” that had Santa Claus speculating through it, great. However if you did, it perhaps meant you had a temperature. And did you know Santa was elevated by a lion? Granted, that was L. Frank Baum’s fault, however not everything he wrote was “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” – particularly once it was put through the Rankin/Bass crazy-ass meat mill.

8. “A Chipmunk Christmas” (1981)

What We Loved About It As Kids: “Ermagerd, discussing chipmunks! Squee!”

most messed-up Christmas specials

Why It’s Totally Messed Up: You know who teaches Alvin about the soul of Christmas? A child who’s gravely ill with cholera. You had think the seizures, short-tempered diarrhea and vomiting would be energetic, however no, they saddle a child with an acute diarrheal infection and leave out part that might be amusing. Jeez, I am kidding. Cholera? WTF? It is like having “A Very Special Ebola Holiday Special.”

Top 7 Most Messed-Up Christmas Specials We Loved As Kids

7. “Christmas Comes to PacLand” (1982)

What We Loved About It As Kids: “Aw, cool! Pac-Man’s so rad!”

most messed-up Christmas specials

Why It’s Totally Messed Up: Besides the main fact this is a Christmas particular based on a video game about avoiding ghosts and eating dots? It is ranked at 7th number in the list of top ten most messed-up Christmas specials we loved as kids. How about Santa’s reindeer receiving an energy boost from eating the power pellets of Pac-Man? Whether you consider they are super poop or amphetamines, it’s just bad.

6. “Frosty’s Winter Wonderland” (1976)

What We Loved About It As Kids: “I wish Frosty was my friend! We had play in the snow all day!”

most messed-up Christmas specials

Why It’s Totally Messed Up: So, Frosty is solitary because his little friends have to go inside or lose the limbs to frostbite. Therefore, what is their solution? A walkie-talkie? No, they chosen to make him a wife. Shades of “Bride of Frankenstein” much? It is ranked at 6th number in the list of top ten most messed-up Christmas specials we loved as kids. The friends of Frosty build her to his specifications, and obviously she falls instantly in adore with him. Because Stockholm Syndrome works that way.

Top 5 Most Messed-Up Christmas Specials We Loved As Kids

5.”The Star Wars Holiday Special” (1978)

What We Loved About It As Kids: “It’s ‘Star Wars’! Nothing could go incorrect!”

most messed-up Christmas specials

Why It’s Totally Messed Up: This truly has to be seen to be thought (you will have to search the Internet – this mess of a particular aired on TV exactly once, which informs you how extremely bad it is. The framing device of this show is Chewbacca’s extended Wookie family, who generally look like horribly mutated Pekingese bred with Cha-Ka from “Land of the Lost,” furiously howling at one another. It is ranked at 5th number in the list of top ten most messed-up Christmas specials we loved as kids. There is as well an intensely disturbing section in which Diahann Carroll is a “fantasy” whistled into a private video display for one Wookie’s viewing desire. So yes, porn. In a Christmas special.

4. “Nestor, the Long-Eared Donkey” (1977)

What We Loved About It As Kids: “Look at the pretty widdle donkey! I want to hug him!”

most messed-up Christmas specials

Why It’s Totally Messed Up: This monumental drag is one step removed from watching those Sarah McLachlan plugs for the ASPCA or Feed the Children ads. Oh, and the mother donkey freezes to demise trying to secure Nestor. It’s not “Bambi” bad, however it’s close. At least with Bambi’s mother we did not have the mental image of Nestor extracting himself from a carcass. It is ranked at 4th number in the list of top ten most messed-up Christmas specials we loved as kids.

Why We’d Watch Now: We wouldn’t. If we desire a bummer ending, we will watch “Game of Thrones.”

3. “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” (1964)

What We Loved About It As Kids: “I want I had a little Rudolph toy! Where is the cross-promotional advertising that will kick in in the 21st century?”

most messed-up Christmas specials

Why It’s Totally Messed Up: We know this hews sweet closely to the song, however did you ever pay any concentration to how the dad, Donner, is dismayed by his red-nosed kid, however only comes around once someone else (Santa) search him useful? It is ranked at 3rd number in the list of top ten most messed-up Christmas specials we loved as kids. Santa does not really accept him, mind you, however sees him as a necessary evil. There are whole seasons of “Nashville” devoted to crappy maternal behavior like this.

2. “Rudolph’s Shiny New Year” (1976)

What We Loved About It As Kids: “Baby New Year looks like my dolly! Hey, a dinosaur!” Look, no one ever said these Rankin/Bass particulars made a lick of sense. Cinderella and Ben Franklin are in it, too.

most messed-up Christmas specials

Why It’s Totally Messed Up: So, everybody laughs at Baby New Year because of his large ears, which wounds him intensely. However you know how Rudolph fixes the difficulty? It is ranked at 2nd number in the list of top ten most messed-up Christmas specials we loved as kids. He does not tell Baby to stand up to his bullies, or learn kung-fu or try meditation. Oh no. Instead, he informs him to simply luxuriate in the concept his deformity gives pleasure to other people, who are so pleased by gawking at him they bubble over with mirth.

1.”Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town” (1970)

What We Loved About It As Kids: “Santa! Santa! Santa!”

most messed-up Christmas specials

Why It’s Totally Messed Up: Decided, ABC has cut the special’s really horrific musical number from rebroadcasts in latest years because OH MY GOD did no one consider this was completely yuck in the twentieth century? Anyhow, Kris Kringle sings this delightful, predatory little ditty about how children need to kiss him if they desire toys.

NO COMMENTS

LEAVE A REPLY